WHY YOU SHOULD BE USING SARTORIAL CUES TO HELP DEMONSTRATE AUTHENTICITY
The number one question I get asked in my programs and presentations is “What makes you different than every other business or life coach out there?”
The answer is incredibly simple. I am not a coach. And I don’t teach you about business or how to fulfill your life’s goals.
I don’t purport to be a business expert or a coach (although I’ve spent over $100k on various therapies, business mentorship, training, and coaching for my own businesses and life goals, so I do know a thing or two about the concepts and how to work with them for success). My goal as a style mentor is to help you find and present your purpose, your intention and your authenticity. If you lack the understanding of how to be true to yourself, and show others that quality, all of the coaching and training in the world will not help you achieve success. You must understand, intrinsically, deeply, your WHY and how to communicate it to those you meet, in your professional, personal, emotional, and spiritual lives.
Furthermore, what I teach, and how I mentor my clients has implications far beyond anything you can do in your career and your business. It is one of the keys to deep-seated happiness and security in yourself. I know a thing or two about this concept as well, since I didn’t exactly have great self-esteem or happiness for the first 30 or so years of my life, and I’ve spent no small amount of time, energy, and money chasing down the answers to how to be “different” in order to find inner peace.
Soak that in for a minute, since I can almost guarantee most of you have been doing something very similar, trying to be “different” than yourself, to become more like a mentor, an expert, a parent, or a friend in order to find your version of success.
When you platform your personal growth of off someone else’s success, personality, or process; you will ultimately fail. You may not fail in achieving something that looks like outer success, but you will always fail at marrying that success with your inner voice and purpose. And this is guaranteed to keep you from being personally as fulfilled and as happy as you should be.
Let me break something to you, folks. No amount of training, money, soul-searching, career climbing, dating, or any other distraction technique is ever going to help you find or live your purpose.
How do you know what is right for you? Which clients to work with? Which mentors to trust? Which friend or potential partner is worth pursuing? Learning how to understand and live authentically will help you avoid taking an exit that will cost you an incredible amount of time, wear, and tear on your personal “vehicle”. You need to have a roadmap to the end goal. And…trust me on this….its not a metric, an income level, a significant other, or a particular award. A roadmap to personal happiness and success is about traveling in the same direction with all aspects of your psyche and physical presence. Its more like directing a convoy to get to that end goal in the most straightforward way possible, than it is driving there on your own. We all need a framework to work within as we travel down our lanes.
I don’t care whether you are talking about business, about raising children, or about choosing a vacation destination. There are essentially two “lanes” in which each one of us travels. Frued called them the Ego and the Id. Here is where the analogy gets both tricky and profound. Those lanes can be going in the same direction, with a friendly white line allowing you to move between them seamlessly in a way that gets you to your destination with the fewest possible amount of traffic jams, detours, or other nasty issues. Or they can be divided by a stark double yellow line with parts of your convoy heading both ways, requiring you to split your concentration and your time between both directions. Its the classic “one step forward and two steps back”, and you may or may not ever find yourself with all of the pieces and parts of the whole at the final destination.
If you’re not working to advance your position across every plane of your Being, you are actually moving backwards.
Ok, fine. I will digress no more. That was probably graphic enough for most of you to understand the concept of working against one’s self. Let’s talk about what it takes to stop moving backwards, and working against yourself in both inward and outward ways.
To do that, you must do the deep work to understand 3 things:
Who You Truly Are, authentically and deep down under all of that fake polish you wear that you’ve been taught to present to the world from a young age.
Who Others Think You Are, since for the majority of us there is a disconnect between how the world views us and who our true selves are.
How to Close the Gap Between the Two. To do this, you must live authentically, and learn to present yourself authentically to the world. There is nothing that creates more confidence or peace in your life than working on this aspect of personal growth. Most of us need some training, therapy, coaching, or other mentoring to pursue and fulfill your “Why”, but you won’t get there if you are not authentic to yourself in choosing who to follow to help you reach your goals.
There is actually a science and a roadmap you can follow to do this deep work. You’ll hear my harp incessantly in my programs about the holy trinity of personal branding:
Purpose, Intention, & Authenticity
When you work with me, and undoubtedly in later posts, I’ll go further into how to find these and how to live by them in ways that ensure you’re as true to yourself as possible. But today we’re exploring how important it is to use something many of us find to be superfluous as your number one mode of influence, both on yourself and others.
LEARN TO USE SARTORIAL CUES TO CREATE YOUR UNIQUE, AUTHENTIC PRESENTATION OF SELF
Sartorial, definitively, literally means “of or relating to clothes” It's easy to uncover the root of sartorial. Just strip off the suffix -ial and you discover the Latin noun sartor, meaning "tailor" (literally, "one who patches or mends"). Sartorial splendor has been the stuff of voguish magazines for years, and even sartor itself has occasionally proven fashionable, as it did in 1843, when Oliver Wendell Holmes wrote of "coats whose memory turns the sartor pale," or in the 1870 title The Sartor, or British journal of cutting, clothing, and fashion. Sartorial has been in style with English speakers since at least 1823.
My use of clothing as a mode of self-improvement is very simple, really, and very tied to my own experience being a high-performance machine with sub-par results. This is why I call myself a style mentor and a personal brand expert. I can tell you exactly what steps to take, and what it looks like when you start to succeed, but in the end the work that you do is up to you. Your success is tied to whether or not you can be deeply and truly honest with yourself and work to present what you find to the world with confidence.
What is simple, is not necessarily easy or straightforward. This is why, in my own life as well as in all of my programs, I start with clothing and help you learn to access your true personality, feelings, and drives by understanding your relationship to your personal style. It is deeply personal, and deeply effective when done with an open mind. Beyond that, it is science! There is significant evidence that dressing in certain ways impacts how others view you (not exactly groundbreaking news), but beyond that it is proven that dressing to develop and control your own confidence can actually create change and purpose in your own mind.
Clothing and physical presentation Is a way to draw out and show off your best qualities.
Fashion is a funny thing. It is built upon (and responsible for, but that’s another blog post) some very manipulative marketing techniques. Most of the world doesn’t buy clothing because it is a way to help themselves feel confident, and show off their inner selves, they buy because they are programmed to by an entire industry that is built upon the idea that their consumer needs to feel inadequate about themselves in order to consume their product.
This disparity between consumer psyche and sales tactics is the number one reason why I sell both mens and women’s clothing as a large part of my business. Its not about fashion, trends, or needing to keep up with what is going on in the ever-changing apparel industry, it is about helping you use style as a means of developing and showing off your authenticity.
Style is a tool, and it can and should be used to create confidence and drive success for the wearer.
Clothing is one of the first, and most impactful, modes of communication you can use to speak to those around you. Even more impressive than that, it is scientifically proven that dressing in ways that are congruent with your personality and are intentionally put together to have a certain effect on your audience is psychologically powerful both to the wearer and to the observer. You can actually build and affect your own confidence when you are authentic to your “Why” in how you present yourself, and it is the most surefire way to ensure that who you are is what you represent.
Mind blown, yet? I hope not, but regardless, I would love to explore your thoughts and questions on this further. I have created an entire program encompassing dozens to hundreds of hours (depending on your appetite and your need for the material) to help you dive into everything I know about the world of fashion, style, personal branding, and how to actually be honest and authentic to yourself. Connect in the comments, or by sending me a shoutout, and let’s discuss!!